


Deceit is a Little Stupid

by chemically_imbalanced_romance



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Good Deceit Sanders, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, there's a dead mouse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 17:37:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemically_imbalanced_romance/pseuds/chemically_imbalanced_romance
Summary: Prompt:  Dukeceit with Remus bringing Deceit gross things (like dead animals) and Dee doesn't understand that he's trying to ask him out.don't ask me why I named it that. I don't have any better ideas





	Deceit is a Little Stupid

**Trigger warnings: Sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, dead mouse, lots of yelling but not angry yelling just chaotic yelling, food mentions, cussing**

It was quiet. 

Deceit and Virgil were sitting on the stairs, Deceit dozing and Virgil on his phone and sipping coffee. It wasn’t often they got some peace and quiet. 

And when they did, it didn’t last long. 

“I HAVE THE BEST FUCKING IDEA,” Remus screamed, sprinting through the living room holding a boquet of roses, lit on fire. 

Deceit jumped awake, Virgil grabbing his arm to keep him from falling off the stair. Virgil grumbled and burrowed further into his plaid black hoodie. 

“I don’t even question him anymore.” 

“I feel like any answer he gives is just more confusing,” Deceit said. 

Remus was stumbling and banging around in the kitchen. Deceit didn’t want to imagine what he was doing behind the closed door. 

“Really?” Virgil asked. “I feel like out of all people, you would understand him.” 

Deceit raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

His eyes widened as he realized how it sounded. “Nothing bad! Just that-” 

The kitchen door slammed open, and Remus was beaming. His face was red and his hair was in disarray, but the roses- Burnt black -had their stems wrapped in cloth and tied together with a yellow satin ribbon. 

Remus came to stand in front of Deceit, holding them out. 

It took Deceit a second to realize he was actually meant to  _ take them _ . He hesitantly did so, looking down at them. He was so fucking confused. He glanced back up at Remus, who was still grinning. 

“What do you think?” 

“Uh…” Deceit looked to Virgil for help, but he just stared at them, not bothering to hide his amused smirk. Deceit looked back at Remus. “Thanks, Remus.” 

That was the right answer. Remus only smiled wider, and sprinted away. 

Deceit relaxed, letting out a breath. “What the hell was that?” 

“Look,” Virgil took the ribbon between two fingers, “it’s your colour.” 

Deceit glanced at it. “I guess so. Why, though?” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Why what?” 

“Why’d he give them to me, instead of throwing them away?” 

Confusion clouded Virgil’s face. “What- Because he wanted you to have them?” 

That made no sense. “Burnt flowers?” 

Virgil just stared at him for a moment, blinking. He looked more confused by the second, which just made Deceit more confused. 

“You know what?” Virgil stood up, shaking his head. “I haven’t had enough coffee today. I’ll talk to you later, Deceit.” 

“You’re really not gonna tell me?” Deceit called after him, trying not to pout. 

“Nope!” 

Later, when Deceit returned to his room for the night, there was a flower vase on his desk. At this point, he didn’t question it. He just settled the burnt roses in the vase and crawled into bed. 

He was only asleep for a few hours before the creaking of his door woke him up. Usually, he’d be able to sleep through it, but it was such a routine that it felt like a wake up call. 

He settled back into the sheets and sighed as the weight shifted on the bed. 

“Deceit,” Remus said. 

“What? Go to bed.”

“I have something for you.” 

He sighed and sat back up, holding his hand out. He was exhausted and his eyes weren’t even really open. When Remus placed something in his hand, he forced himself to look, only to cry out and toss it aside. 

It was a dead mouse. 

“What the hell, Remus?!” 

He pouted. “I killed it for you!” 

Deceit blinked. “What?!” 

“You’re a snake!” He cried. “Snakes eat rats!”

“Okay, first of all, that was a mouse.” 

He scoffed. “Whatever!” 

“I don’t eat mice, Remus.” Deceit couldn’t bite back a chuckle. “ _ Or _ rats. Call me picky.” 

“Well…” He blushed. “I dunno, I just saw it running around and thought you’d like it!”

“Just…” Deceit sighed, getting out of bed. “Don’t tell Patton. Help me get rid of it.” 

Remus followed Deceit outside the house to toss the mouse in the dumpster. Deceit fell back into bed, and Remus assumed his position at the foot. 

Deceit peeked down at him. “I thought you were an octopus, not a dog.” 

“Huh?”

Deceit chuckled. “You know you can come up here, right?” 

“Oh- I, uh… I don’t know.” 

A few months ago, Remus snuck into Deceit’s room when he was asleep and curled up at the foot of the bed. In the morning, he had explained that he wanted some company but he didn’t want to wake him up or freak him out, so he tried to stay out of the way. After that, it just became routine. 

“You can come up here, if you want,” he repeated. He held up the blanket, raising an eyebrow. 

Remus hesitated, and crawled up to lay next to him. He pressed close, and Deceit easily allowed Remus into his arms, curling against his body. 

Butterflies were flurrying around in both of their tummies. Remus hid his blushing face in Deceit’s chest, Deceit stroking his hair. 

They stayed up most of the night talking, voices hushed and bodies pressed together. Remus was good at getting Deceit to laugh, better than anyone else. And Remus felt the same way- He adored Deceit’s dry humour. 

The next day, Deceit, Virgil, and Remus sat in the living room to watch movies together before bed. Deceit and Virgil were each on either side of the couch, with Remus sprawled along the whole thing, legs thrown over Virgil’s lap and head rested in Deceit’s. Deceit had his fingers running through Remus’s hair absentmindedly. 

They were watching Cinderella, one of the few movies they’d stolen from the Light Sides. It was mostly quiet, before Remus asked, “What if Disney released a porno?” 

Virgil blinked. “Can you, like, stop?” 

“No, I’m serious. What if they just started fucking right in the middle of the ballroom?”

“I don’t think the parents of the  _ children _ usually watching these movies would be too happy about that,” Deceit said. 

“I bet the Light Sides aren’t having conversations like this,” Virgil grumbled. 

“The Light Sides are boring and I want to fuck in the middle of a ballroom!” 

“You know what,” Deceit started to get up, “I’m going to go get something to eat.” 

Remus jumped up. “I’ll go get it!” 

Deceit laughed, bewildered, as Remus sprinted into the kitchen. “All that caffeine you drink?” Deceit said to Virgil. “It goes right to him.” 

“He gets hyper when he’s nervous,” Virgil said, taking a sip of coffee. 

Deceit raised an eyebrow. “Why would he be nervous? We’re sitting and watching movies.” 

“HOLY SHIT!” Remus yelled from the kitchen. They both ignored it. 

“You’re a real idiot, you know that?” Virgil asked. 

“Wh- Hey! What’d I do?!” 

Virgil smirked. “I can’t tell you.” 

“Why not?” 

“I have a bet with Roman to see how long it’ll take you to find out.”

Deceit huffed. “How rude. I’ve never done  _ anything _ like that to you.” 

He snorted. “Right.” 

Remus came back out then, holding a bowl of mac n cheese. He smelled of smoke. “It’s boxed,” he said, handing it over. 

“I like boxed,” Deceit said. 

“Do I not get any?” Virgil asked, just to be a shit. 

“No.” Remus stuck his tongue out at him. 

He watched Deceit eagerly, waiting for him to try it. Deceit laughed nervously and took a big bite, making a show out of it. It was really tough, and hard to chew through, but he smiled. 

“It’s great. Thanks, Remus.” 

Remus grinned and laid back down as Deceit finished the food. 

Usually, Remus would wait a few hours after Deceit went to bed to join him, but he didn’t bother this time. They both headed to Deceit’s room after they finished the movies. 

The two settled against each other, Deceit wrapping his arms around Remus’s waist and pressing his face to his hair. Remus squeezed closer, even though there wasn’t much space left between them. 

Remus wondered if Deceit would  _ ever _ get it. How long was he meant to be quiet, just because this stupid, dumb, cute  _ moron _ was an idiot? 

Maybe he could give him a little push. 

“Dee?” 

“Hm?” He was almost asleep. 

“Have you ever thought about dating any of the sides?” 

Deceit was quiet for a second. 

_ Oh jesus fucking christ I fucked up I fucked up I fucked up-  _

“I mean, sometimes. Why?” 

“I’m just curious.” Remus was dying. “Do you think you would?” 

“Yeah,” he said softly. “I definitely would.” 

Here it comes. Remus was about to explode. 

“Why-” Deceit yawned, “-do you think-?” 

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

Deceit nearly fell off the bed. 

Remus sat up, hair in disarray and eyes wide. “You’re too cute, I want to date you!” 

Deceit slowly sat up. “What?” His voice cracked. 

“I didn’t want to say anything because I know you don’t like to be blunt, but I can’t take it anymore! I need you to know that I think you’re great! I can’t hide things, Deceit, it’s not in me! I-” 

“Remus!” Deceit held back laughter. Usually, Remus’s quirks amused him to no end, but he didn’t want to upset Remus any more than he already was. Deceit took his hand. “Why would you think I wouldn’t want you to be blunt?” 

“Because…” He blushed. “Because it’s not your thing.” 

Deceit was confused. “It’s not my thing,” he agreed. “But, Remus, your bluntness is what I love about you the most.” 

Remus just flushed pinker. “Oh.” He looked down. 

He chuckled and tipped his chin up, running his thumb over Remus’s knuckles. “You tell me when you kill a mouse but not when you have a crush?” 

“I killed the mouse for you,” Remus pointed out. 

“Charming.” 

“Do you like me back?” 

“I really do,” Deceit said. “I think you’re great.” 

Remus leapt forward and kissed him, then, and Deceit chuckled as he kissed him back. 

The next morning, the Dark Sides were in the kitchen, Virgil grumbling into a cup of coffee as Remus banged around with pans and ingredients. Deceit watched, amused, from the table. 

Remus came over to Deceit with a bowl, that he  _ thought _ was supposed to be scrambled eggs. It looked more like soup. Deceit smiled and ate it anyway, thanking Remus when he was done. 

Remus giggled and gave him a kiss, and Virgil choked on his coffee. 

“ALREADY?!” 

Deceit looked at him in confusion. “What?” 

“Roman!” Virgil called, and Roman rose up, already ready for the day. 

“What? What is it?” 

Virgil gestured to Remus and Deceit violently. Remus was casually settled in Deceit’s lap, legs swinging. 

“HA!” Roman laughed. “I  _ told _ you Remus wouldn’t last that long!” 

“Goddamnit!” 

Roman held his hand out, and Virgil gave him The Dollar. 

Deceit shook his head. “So everyone knew?” 

“Literally everyone.” 

“Well, thanks for telling me.” 

“I thought Remus might want to tell you himself,” Virgil said. 

After staying for breakfast, Roman went back to the Light Sides, and Virgil returned to his room. Remus hummed and snuggled against Deceit’s chest. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know,” Deceit said. 

“Yeah, you’re dumb.” 

He laughed. “A little.”


End file.
